Well there has been so much going on the last few months. It seems like since February it has been one thing after another. Chris's grandpa died in February and we traveled to Iowa for the funeral. After we got back Olivia got sick and ended up in the hospital for dehydration. She wouldn't eat or drink for days and if she did she couldn't keep it down. It was so scary to see my little girl so sick and in the hospital. I hated to see her cry when they had to take blood and put in an IV. I know how much it hurts. Then the day Olivia got out of the hospital Saige was taken to the doctor and she had the chicken pox. Then the following Monday Saige was still really sick so I took her back to the doctor and she tested positive for Influenza. It was a crazy February and we were very happy when it was over.
The car trouble started sometime in there and I don't remember how it all went, but we ended up getting a different car and have had trouble with it too.
April came and we seen my grandpa getting sicker and sicker with cancer. It broke my heart to see him so sick. I knew it was going to be so hard on Olivia when the time came for him to go to Heaven. She loved him so much and they were best buds. My grandpa loved Olivia and Saige so much. One of the last things I remember was Saige giving him a ride in his life chair and he was barely awake and I told her to stop and he woke up and said let her play. We were with him for his final hours and we had just left when he went peacefully in his sleep. I was glad he did not have to suffer any more.
Olivia took it hard and I don't think Saige really knew what was going on. We had a lot of family time and we are spending as much time as possible with my grandma like we always have. It has been a different grief process for me. With Asher it was so sudden and I was in such shock and I was hurting so bad. This time we knew it was coming and it was so hard waiting for the time to come. I just can't imagine what my grandma is going through. To wake up with the same person for all those years to all of a sudden to have them gone. I felt myself not only grieving for myself but also for my grandma and for Olivia. She knew what was going on. I love how she will bring up Papa, Asher, and my sister Stephanie on a daily basis. We talk about what they are going up there in Heaven. When it rains she always they are jumping in puddles. Olivia also decided the first thing Papa and Asher did was go fishing. Olivia has had some tough questions because we have talked about how Papa is no longer sick up in Heaven, which prompted her to ask if Asher and Stephanie are still babies in Heaven or if they grow up. I told her I do not know the answer to that and that she needs to ask our pastor. We will see what she says.
I loved hearing all the stories about my grandpa, some of the things I didn't even know he did. It was a time to see family that I haven't seen in awhile. But now life is getting back to normal and it is hard because I remember how everyone went home and life went on after Asher died, but my life had changed forever and it is the same for my grandma. It reminds me of this article and the title was I went to a funeral and then I went home..., but for someone when they went home it was different.
It is now May and it has been three weeks since my grandpa has passed and a lot has happened. And I know he is looking down on us smiling. He watched Olivia turn 5 years old and have her Frozen birthday party (thank you for not letting it rain on her party), he has watched her go to her last day of pre-kindergarten and he will be there when she starts kindergarten in August.
Life changes, but we just need to remember that they are always there.
