4 Years Ago Today

I can't believe it has been four years since I gave birth to Olivia.  I remember going to the hospital to be induced.  I was scared and didn't know what to expect at all.  Was I cut out to be a mother?  I hadn't had much experience with babies and now I was going to have one of my own.  I was in labor for 19 hours.  It was a long process and Olivia was born in the middle of the night at 3:15 to be exact.  And it was such a great moment.  Holding her for the first time was wonderful.

I remember Chris going out to tell the family that she had been born.  In my head we hadn't picked out a name yet.  We had it narrowed down to two.  We were going to see what she looked like.  So he gets back in the room and I ask him well what should we name her.  He said oh I already told everyone that her name was Olivia Ann.  So that is how she got her name.  We knew her middle name would be Ann in honor of my sister who died when we were a day old.

She was 7 pounds and so great.  To us she seemed so small I thought I would break her.  I loved holding her and looking into her pretty eyes.  She was perfect.  Round head and that sweet little stork bite she had on her side.

I have been amazed at watching her grow up. I remember her sitting on my lap when she was very young poking at my cheeks telling me your so cute!  She is so smart and talks so much and so well.  Most people think she is much older than she is because you can have a conversation with her.  I can't believe she will be going to pre-school in August.  She has learned so much about life and death these last two years.  More than any child should have to know, but she has been my rock.  Without Olivia I wouldn't have made it through the death of Asher.  I remember her doing the Mickey Mouse Hot Dog dance to cheer me up when I was sad.  I remember her sitting on my hospital bed after I had Asher and she would wipe away my tears with her little hand and tell me it's ok. She has continuted to wipe away my tears when I am sad.   She is such a caregiver.  Always thinking of me first when I'm sad or hurt.  We don't hide anything from her so we talk about Asher often. 

And now she is a great big sister.  She loves Saige will all her heart and soul and is always willing to help out with her.  She loves to sing to Saige and tell Saige about Asher. 

I would be lying if I say we never butt heads because we do.  We are too much alike and have the same little attitude which I'm sure I will pay for when she is a teenager.  But I love her dearly as she is my first born.  She always knows how to bring a smile to my face.  I love Olivia Ann Foley so much!  I hope she has a great birthday!